A New Leaf

 Days go by. 

That's not a particularly deep concept on the surface, but if you consider it deeply it can mean a lot of things. In my present condition, to me it means that, regardless of the circumstance the sun still rises, bills still come due, pipes and fixtures still need repairs, and my kids still need breakfast.

I've been working since the Feast, as much as my post covid body will allow me, on structuring a new routine. Waking up at the same time each morning, and going directly outside. I've taken my prayers from a dark house out into the early morning air. That alone is a major mind changing develpment. So far the weather has been nice, though I know long term the cool breeze isn't a fixture that is permanent.

I'm in the 94th percentile of Neurotocism on the Big Five personality trait map for those that are curious.. 75th in Openness, so don't be thinking my thinking outside the box is free. I struggle with crippling depression just like the next person. I don't think my FB and blog posts admit that enough. Positivity is not my strong suit.

That aside (there's no actually putting that aside 🤣) I'm putting effort into order and structure again, but centering it purposefully somewhere other than church. The center, as I'm aiming it is personal morality. I Mentioned this earlier, but I want to explain it now.

Question: Is your association with 'righteousness' what makes you a good person in the eyes of God?

I would say the answer is No, and here's why. Historically, though not today, it was an agreed social evil to impune Collective Guilt. Guilty-by-association. That concept is a biblical one, expressed in one way as not punishing the guilt of a father to his children. Sin, the transgression of the law, is a personal deviation. Your geographical proximity to evil doesn't neccessitate an obligation for you to act evil. The catholic concept of original sin falls into this category of Debt you owe because of someone other than you. The CoG churches are not exempt from that doctrine either, most of them teach a doctrine of Atonement that places 'half' the sin of the world on Satan.

Conversely, good needs to be considered with the same scales and weights. Righteousness cannot be achieved collectively. It CAN be displayed in a way that looks collective, but it is not achieved as a group. Righteousness, or character is something personal. It's your individual actions according to the standard of truth available to you. That is not to be confused with moral relativity, that being the belief in the lack of a fixed point, black and white, objective truth. Moral relativity is the notion that 'right' at this point in time is not related to 'right' at another point.

So, my goal is to aim my structure at making righteous choices. Not because of group think, not because of tradition, and not for anyone elses' sake. Rather to appear daily at the cross-roads and to consult my standards (the Bible) as to which way to turn. It may seem to a critic as the same thing but self-righteousness.. to that I say, I do no believe in self-righteousness as those who aim it as an insult teach it.

Nietzsche posited that mankind killed God and wasn't big enough to rebuild a replacement for God. I cannot agree more with that thought. However, the diety that was killed in my presence so to speak was only called god. God is still available. That conflation of God and Church is a dangerous one. They are not the same thing. It's taken me considerable time to parse out the two, and I'm happy to say I've made some improvement.

There's no end though. No specific date and time we have to aim at. We have AN end, an inevitable, movebale and unknowable end. That leaves us with a daily need for course correction. That daily course correction is righteousness, at least it can be.

Here's to being a good person.